Why Am I Miserable?

Everything you never wanted to know?
You have probably come to this text not only in search of support, help, advice and understanding, but also, I suspect, because you, like so many others, are wondering why you are unhappy in your life. With a whole raft of statistics pointing to a more unhappy and discontented population, doctors are handing out more prescriptions for antidepressants than ever before. They are also, at long last, offering counselling therapy to those whom they feel will benefit. I want to look at the root causes of our misery, as a nation and, perhaps, as a species. Unfortunately, the real causes are often difficult, but if you look around you and cast your mind into the various directions that this text will lead you, you will, I suspect, find some of the answers you are seeking.

We don't really know why we are here. We don't even know if there is a real, philosophical reason. Various religions talk about a purpose and a "divine being” that created the world and everything else. However, there is no definitive proof, just as there is no definitive proof to the contrary. That is one of the wonders and mysteries of our universe.


Mankind has evolved from a primitive beginning into something entirely different, both physically and mentally. We have changed our environment and, with it, we have changed our expectations. We have a highly complex social structure, with rules and regulations, as well as a system of reward and remuneration, which has encouraged us to exploit the resources of our home planet. However, our biological evolution cannot keep up with our technological one.

A direct result of technological advances is a dramatic increase in the population, which has had a "ripple" effect on every aspect of our lives. With this population "explosion" has come a need for more technology; a never-ending spiral.

With the advent of new technology, our superstitions and beliefs have been severely eroded. Much of the wonder of our lives has gone and, in place, we have facts and scientific explanations. We have also created an entirely, "unnatural" environment for ourselves; with hamlets and villages being replaced by towns and cities, cart tracks and lanes with dual carriageways and motorways and an abundance of light, turning the night into day and allowing our paranoid dislike of darkness to be avoided. Our homes are now havens of technology and cleanliness, with a war on bacteria and "vermin" being waged every minute of every day. However, this sterility is not confined to grime: it also leaves our self-made environment devoid of the beauty we once took for granted. Green fields have been replaced with tarmac' and concrete; trees and hills with houses, offices and shopping centres; fine country views being replaced by vast industrial constructions - the list is almost endless.

The human race, as we knew it, is fast being replaced by a race of robot-like automatons, devoid of the "dirt" that formed it and propelling itself into a technological, simple future where, quite frankly, we will all become redundant. Our lives are becoming utterly futile, because, put simply, we lack any real purpose. We don't have to fight to feed ourselves (unless you classify the journey to the supermarket as being war-like); we don't think about the "after-life", because, increasingly, we are not convinced there is one. We prize youth, physical beauty and material wealth, because those who have a vested interest in our doing so, have made us believe that we should. Progressively, we are turning to food or other, more harmful substances to make us feel better. Young people, in particular, are highly susceptible to alcohol and drugs. Who can blame them? With unemployment among the young at an all-time high, no real prospects of a future, their world being destroyed, excessive controls on what they can and cannot do (despite the many new freedoms they enjoy) and with so many mixed messages, they are, understandably, disillusioned. Where has all the fun in life gone?

Cultures are being eroded, as people move around the globe, desperately trying to stamp their own mark on the new homes they find for themselves. This, in turn, destroys the past of the places where they settle and unrest begins to invade.

As working patterns and businesses have changed, the need for education has also changed. As freedoms have been increased, so have expectations. We have given ourselves rights and privileges, such as the right to bear children and the right to life, which are being fuelled by advances in healthcare. As a direct result of this, the population of the world has dramatically increased over the last 100 years. We are keeping more people alive for longer. We are allowing and encouraging everyone to breed - regardless of genetic "defects" which Evolution would rid us of. The net result of this is the fundamental and most important threat facing this planet: over-population by the Human race.

To support all this new technology, material wealth, population increase and longevity, takes vast and increasing amounts of energy. This energy has to come from somewhere and its production and increasing demand are also contributing to the demise of this planet.

Our "throwaway" society demands more space to live and use for its increasing hunger. We are encroaching on land that, previously, had never been inhabited. This is destroying the other species that inhabit this planet alongside us and we do so without a thought or a care for what it is doing or how selfish it is. For the religious, it should evoke outrage that we should think and care so little for our creator's property, but for the godless greedy, it makes no difference: their only thought is for material wealth.

We are consuming and destroying at a faster rate than the natural environment can replenish. It is costing us dearly in wealth; it has already started costing us in terms of our happiness, wellbeing and health and it is going to cost us all the most precious and unique "commodity" in the universe: our home, the planet that sustains us and we are too blind and too greedy to see it, let alone bring it to a halt.

Society, in general, is beginning the slow descent into oblivion; as we fail to properly educate and nurture our young, morality is either grossly over-enforced and therefore oppression takes a hold, or it is totally missing and therefore chaos ensues. War is rife, due to greed and ideological differences, as is corruption and criminality.

What we are now lacking is any meaningful purpose or direction in our lives and, just like the world economy, because we refuse to limit anything we do, we, as a species, have become a "runaway train", hurtling down the road of Time and becoming difficult - if not impossible - to stop.

Stuck in the midst of this are you and me. We are suffering because of what is happening around us. In short, society, as we know it, is not working properly. It is failing. It is letting us down and it is slowly but surely destroying us.

Think about what you perceive would make you happier. A bigger car? A better job (or just a job)? Perhaps a holiday in the sun. Maybe, just maybe..... a youthful, good-looking "significant other", or even just a lot of money in the bank. Typically, these are the things we perceive will make us feel better; help us live a happier life. We tell ourselves that, if we were to win a lot of money, our lives would be better. In some respects, perhaps they would, although only insofar as that the money would shield us from the effects of poverty or, at least, not having as much wealth as we are encouraged to believe we ought to have.

Here, we have one of the fundamental problems with our society - and our ethos - today; nobody is ever satisfied with what they have. If you own a house, you are encouraged to want a bigger one. You should have a new car every 3 years (because the UK government, in particular, deliberately makes owning a car after 3 years that much more expensive, in order to help the car manufacturing industry). This way, the economy and industry and business can keep growing and we can keep consuming more, bringing more wealth. Alas, though, as with all "good things" it is starting to come to an end - and what an end.

In the meantime, the number of different species on the planet is in serious decline. The environment is littered with our discarded waste, areas of beauty and holiday destinations are becoming "oases" surrounded by cities, connected by roads and industrial complexes, shopping centres and housing estates. Virtually every part of the globe has been mapped, explored and plundered, people are progressively living in urban concrete towers, with little or no access to space to roam, but, instead, encouraged to exercise and relax in an unreal world of gymnasiums, cinemas and home entertainment systems, providing, of course, we can afford them!

It is a dismal picture. It is, of course, the very tip of the iceberg, because to fully study the human "phenomenon" would take more time than you or I have in this short article.

In short, the human race and its highly evolved society is not working. It is failing to provide the fundamentals of life - not just in the food we consume - but the happiness and contentment our lives so desperately need.

We are increasingly isolated and lonely, because of the dramatic changes our lives have gone through over the past 100 years. Whilst we have more freedom than ever before, this is helping to deconstruct the once close-knit society that existed. However, just as a prisoner seeks to free them self from the bonds that keep them, so the human race struggled to free itself from some of the choking restrictions placed upon it, by often intransigent and narrow-minded authoritarians.

On a par with the economic situation, what we have failed to do is moderate. We have allowed our society to weaken, because we seem incapable of reaching compromises and allowing ourselves to be ordered and to grow, but without too much - or too little - control.

You, the individual, are unhappy because of your past; the things that have made you into the person you are today. I am no different to you. We are miserable because of things that happened to us and things that are happening to us. It is because, as a society, we are rearing our next generations wrongly. We have no "standard", which will allow freedom whilst instilling discipline - self discipline. We bully, control, manipulate, misinform, scare and sometimes just ignore our young. Through this, we create damaged individuals who, themselves, frequently go on to make the same mistakes with their own offspring and this, in turn, breeds the desire for more, which is fuelling the world's unrest.

For those of us who will never procreate, we have to live a life of isolation and despair, because there isn't the understanding, the support or the willpower to help us out of our misery and because, also, we live in a society that favours the family. It is economically and politically expedient to do so. Single people are all but forgotten in every aspect of life except, that is, taxation: paying for other people's families.

Every lonely, despondent and unhappy person has suffered in some way in their past. Either the breakup of an important relationship, the loss of friends or family or even health issues (both physical and psychological). It is what makes us the people we are. However, we, ourselves, can take control of our lives, by understanding, trusting, communicating and changing. It will only be through a better understanding - as well as the will to change - that we will, eventually, be able to live as whole human beings, casting off the bonds of our past that chain us to loneliness and misery.

As for the rest of the world's woes, unfortunately they are things that the next generations will have to address, because the previous and current ones haven't been bothered.

Take a look around; take a good look. Dispense with prejudice and ignorance. See the reality of what is happening. Think, honestly, about what would really make you happy and take away the misery from your life. It isn't all that difficult to determine, but attaining it is a different thing altogether.

A quotation from a wise, but anonymous person, who recently posted a comment on the BBC's website:- "Money is an anaesthetic for conscience". Never a truer word was written!